Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
