Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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