guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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