I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
