that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
