Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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