i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
