She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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