Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
