He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
