she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
