my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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