1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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