Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
