Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
