Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
