Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
