The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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