your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
