Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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