I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
