love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
