since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
