you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
