I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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