it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
