Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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