i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
