I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
