i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
