Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
