When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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