smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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