call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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