Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize