the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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