u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize