all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
