But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sponge bath it is.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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