omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
