my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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