My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
