put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Jerry, you need to find god
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
