at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize