it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
