new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
