my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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