Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
