the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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