jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
