if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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