We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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