So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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