3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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