hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
