I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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