just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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