What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
