Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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