My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
