You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize