sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
