Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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