you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize