Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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